when pride gets in the way:
Sis was happy. the pastor was happy. The new music leader was happy. Everyone was happy ... except me. I've been struggling with my bad attitude ever since things changed. Why is it that out of everybody, I've got this horrible attitude that is not only affecting me but will affect the others in the group if I don't get this sorted out? I'm mostly angry at myself because I'm being unreasonable and I know it. Change is a good thing and the new music leader is a guy I know quite well. he is a gifted musician and also knows how to lead.
today we had music practice. O boy, what a disaster! The more it continued, the more angry and stirred up I got and I hate myself for it but I couldn't seem to change it. I mean, after all, how dare this young guy come in, take over and tell me how to play and try to modernise everything? Goodness me, I've been playing piano since well before he was born! grrrrrr! the longer the practice went, the worse my attitude got until the most satisfying thing I could do when I came home was slam my bedroom door. Just grrrr!
This is what happens when pride gets in the way. I'm proud of my musical ability. I shouldn't be, but I am. Ok, I'm no opera singer or concert pianist but I have perfect pitch and I practice my singing and playing nearly every day. The world would say that it's a good thing to be proud of my ability, such as it is, but God says pride is a bad thing.
Pride goes before destruction,
and a haughty spirit before a fall.
The gift isn't mine.
It's more of a permanent loan. God gives us these things not to do what we want with them but to glorify him with them and edify or uplift others. God doesn't care how well I sing or play, he cares about my heart attitude. Am I doing this to glorify him or me? If the answer is that I am using it to glorify me than I am misusing it. We will have to give account to the Lord on Judgement day about how we use the gifts and talents he has given us. If I am serving god at church or in any other way in order to gratify my own ego then I am in the wrong and I am displeasing God.
That doesn't mean we shouldn't do our best at whatever we are doing for the Lord, but it does mean we should examine ourselves and if we notice wrong attitudes, pride, self-admiration or whatever, we need to bring these to god and ask his forgiveness. Then, when we find ourselves thinking wrongly again, we need to stop and ask the Lord's help to change the way we are thinking. The Bible tells us to take every thought captive to obey Christ:
For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,
[2 Corinthians 10:4-5]
Now that I've calmed down I feel totally ashamed of my rotten attitude. after all, the music leader didn't exactly tell me how to play, he made suggestions of what he thought would sound good. He encouraged us and advised us. I was in the wrong all the way because instead of taking his suggestions as they were meant, i took them as criticisms and got angry.
We can't let bad attitudes like this fester. The bible tells us:
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.
I can't just ignore this. I need to bring it to God in prayer, tell him exactly how I am feeling and ask him to forgive me and change me. I need his help to deal with my pride, as well as to put things in perspective. It's not all about me, but about serving and pleasing god.
I'm going to go and talk to him about it right now. I know that nothing is impossible with God, so I can trust him to instruct and guide me. You can trust him too. the bible says:
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,
I hope I have given you something to think about.